Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

What's up with young people trying to gentrify old ghost towns?

Almost every horror movie, aside from a few, have young people wandering to the wrong places—unlike Scream where the horror comes to meet you at home.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the latest in the horror movie slasher and it didn't fail to check every horror formula.

Movie plot

It's 50 years since the last massacre and it looks like the town is back to normal, that is, until a group of friends decide to turn the town into a hippie spot with book shops, art shops, restaurants, etc.

They embark on a trip to Harlow and when they wrongfully evict an occupant from an orphanage home, things take a turn for the worst.

Spoilers ahead

So, where do we begin?

Let me start with a general caution. Before you evict someone from their home, be absolutely sure you're on the right. Dante was feeling all high and mighty like he was really trying to achieve something spectacular, but turns out the weird looking old lady was right and they were wrong. 

And boy did they pay for that error.

A sure way to die? Kill the mother of the serial killer who tames him.

The girlfriend must have felt she was really being a Mother Theresa. You jumped into a van of the woman your boyfriend almost killed because you care. 

Yeah, right.

I would never do so. No way. I rather have the sheriff tell me what happened than risk my life that way. I just knew she was going to die. It was way too easy for her.

The Bus Slaughter

What's the first thing you do when you see a scary looking dude with a human  face mask and a chainsaw approaches you?

Your answer would be run, right?

Nah.

Not for these morons. Their first impulse was to bring out their phones and threaten him with being canceled.

I don't know if this was meant to be comedic or a satire at how rotten our addiction to social media is, but it was grand stupid.

I would skedaddle out of there without even thinking about anyone else.

Why weren't the windows opening? What took them so long to get the stuff open?

Morons.

Trying to cancel a serial killer. 

That's what happens when you don't research about a town before riding along to do whatever it is they went to do.

So pissed at them.

Moving on.

Why don't people "beleg" a serial killer? I mean I was stoked when Melody got hold of the chainsaw and all she could do was smack him in the face.

Sister, really?

You kill them. 

You don't try to injure them. You behead, beleg, be half, whatever you have to remove but you aim to kill, not injure.

The last scene was just impossible.

So, you're trying to tell me that after fighting the killer in the night, these girls waited until daybreak to get the hell out of that town.

They actually waited like "Oh, we killed him, we're safe. Let's just wait till the sun is up."

I know some would argue that the road was unsafe considering it takes 7 hours by road, but their chances on the road were better than in that God forsaken town.

Why didn't they run?

Then the lady survivor was just plain annoying.

You want him to remember what he did 50 years ago? Sister? Does he look like he cares? You came looking for vengeance and rather you started having a conversation.

Go on ahead and kill the person and stop freaking talking. I thought she would be strong and fierce, but she was just an old woman still hurt from the first encounter. 

She didn't really level any odds.

Earlier on I mentioned a formula:📝

Group of teens on an adventure ☑

Someone causing the killer to lose him mind☑

A returnee seeking revenge☑

People being slashed to death☑

Survivors who turned to a survivor☑

I went into this movie without any expectations and just watched.

It was okay. That's all I can say. It was okay.

Rating: 5/10

Why did they stay until day break?